Okay, I will try to keep the story short.
Nobody would notice if I dropped dead right now.
All those persons that promised me a forever just lied to me.It doesn't matter how many times I believe the words
"I'm not like the others, I will take care of you" or "I will never leave you" they're just lies. And I can't blame them. Who would choose to stay here? Who would like to understand the feelings of such a wretched being? I'm pathetic, madly in love with someone who wouldn't notice if I died,friends that stopped talking to me because I can't recover from my emptiness and my depression. And it will not change.The last person here will leave me sooner than later, he will notice how toxic I am, and how wrong he was thinking that there was something about me that was different from the others, that made me especial. I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression, I'm not especial, useful, good, I'm just toxic, everything that I've tried to save or create, the future I was hoping to live all that happiness which I sought.. It is just don't going to happen.
I'm sorry for all the pain I brought, I wish I could have been good enough.. I'm so sorry.